WHY I HAVEN'T BEEN LISTING
(I think it's best if you read the numbers aloud, like "number 1: ..., number 2: ..." But that's just a suggestion.)
- 1.I have been at a loss for things to say.Honestly, I feel like my voice right now is best unheard. So many opinions and thoughts and points of view flying around lately that I've decided to quiet down cause I can't bring myself to add to it. Thoughts are more important to me now for some reason.
- 2.I've been working a lot.Like, not A LOT, but more than normal. I usually work like 15-20 hours per week but this summer I've upped it to like 35-40. It's exhausting. It's been about 4 years (and one baby) since I've held a full time position. 3 kids AND a full time job?? I don't know how anyone does that all the time. Respect.
- 3.I feel terrible about almost every aspect of my life.Aside from making more money- I'm not in school currently, I had a terrible spring semester, and even though I promised myself I would take summer classes to make up for it I didn't. I haven't even signed up for fall yet. I can't deal. Also I've been gaining weight and eating shitty and ugh. Who can even keep track.
- 4.Laundry.Like I get it- everyone has laundry- but let's take a moment to discuss how crushing of a blow it is to our lives. I mean- this is like the one thing that I will always have to do, without fail. If I ever decided I needed that big of a break from dishes, I would eat out or buy paper plates or SOMETHING. Laundry is forever and I will never not have to do it. Fucking A I hate it.
- 5.Loss of creative thought.To piggy back off of number one- not only do I feel my voice is best unheard, I mean, I just don't have anything to add to anything. At all. Is this a side effect of my Wellbutrin and Lexapro? Who knows. Ugh, I'm annoyed even thinking about it. Original thoughts- whatever. I'm tired. Which brings me to my last point....
- 6.I'm fucking tired.So fucking tired. Honestly, I'm surprised that I committed to writing THIS list, especially after I already published one today (yesterday technically, blah). Everything and everyone makes me tired.
- 7.But the thing is.... I miss listing. Like really, I miss it. I miss when I don't check it consistently and I don't know what everyone is up to, and I have a serious case of FOMO which makes me NOT check it and then it's been a month and I haven't even clicked on the app once- not even just to CHECK. Sucks.
- 8.I love you guys. Let's hope I can turn this shit around at some point. ❤️❤️