A Single Guy's List of Promises to Friends Who Are Parents

  1. β€’
    I promise not to judge you.
    For your lack of time, sense of fun and fashion.
  2. β€’
    I promise to support this selfless decision you guys have made. πŸ‘¨β€πŸ‘©β€πŸ‘§β€πŸ‘¦
    It's also insane. And if you guys got knocked up, it has to be a running joke forever.
  3. β€’
    I promise to laugh at your dad jokes. πŸ‘¨πŸ»
    God knows I love that shit.
  4. β€’
    If your kids are 5 years old and below, I promise to watch them for you. πŸ‘ΆπŸ»
    For a maximum of 10 minutes, and you have to be within yelling distance.
  5. β€’
    It your kids are between 6 and 12, I promise to watch them for you.
    For an hour, and you'll have to leave money for food.
  6. β€’
    If you're kids are between 13 and 21, I promise to hang out with them.
    We'll do cool stuff. I don't think I can go clubbing. But we can do concerts, gigs, cool movies. Also bike rides.
  7. β€’
    If your kids are 21 and above, I promise to remember their names and faces.
    If they're sons, so I can buy them drinks at a bar. If they're daughters, so nothing awkward happens if we meet at a bar. Yikes I creeped myself out. 🍻