Thoughts I Have After I Realize I've Had an Everything Bagel Seed in My Tooth All Morning
- •I've had several conversations with various people today. Did they notice?
- •I'm sure each and every one of these people noticed. It was a big seed.
- •Besides the size of this seed, it was also lodged in between two prominent top teeth. Ugh.
- •This is actually gross.
- •Am I gross? Having a seed lodged in your tooth for several hours certainly isn't helping my case of being a hygienic person.
- •Am I less of a person for not having checked my teeth since eating this half bagel? Jury's still out on this.
- •Why are everything bagels so delicious but also SO ANNOYING? Like, go away bagel seeds, no one wants you. Are you trying to reproduce or pollinate shit, like flowers?
- •Why are the seeds black? It's not ideal to have bagel seeds stuck in your teeth (unbeknownst to you, no less) but wouldn't it be a LITTLE more bearable if they were like, clear seeds, or something? Or at least the same color as your teeth. Black seeds as dark as the night sky against one's pearly whites...no thanks.
- •Maybe I should just avoid everything bagels at work.
- •But my department provides them. FOR FREE.
- •Nope. I'm bringing floss to work from now on.