Requested by Zach Wetzel

TOP 5 WAYS TO TELL YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER THEY HAVE VENEREAL DISEASE

  1. A Friendly Card
    something that says "Hey, you've got crabs!" in a fun and simple way. maybe even throw in a Barnes & Noble gift card to top it off!
  2. Interpretive Dance
    Let's face it; nobody can resist somebody acting out the motion patterns of the Hep-C strain to some good ol' classical music!
  3. A 2003 Microsoft Power Point
    Your significant other sure will get a kick outta this one! It'll be like the good ol' days of taking notes in school, except a lot more itchy from all the Herpes and what not
  4. Abandon Them
    It worked for my ex! it'll work for you!
  5. Morse Code
    -.--/---/..-//--./---/-//-./../-../...//