WORST SPILLS - A PERSONAL LIST

I guess I've fallen down a decent amount over the years
  1. May 30, 2014 - the Jane hotel rooftop
    Normally don't hang at hot spots like this, but it was my 25 year old sisters going away party. It was late (ie after midnight) and my 33 year old body tripped on a dislodged couch cushion. It was one of those slow-motion, am I really about to fall down? kind of stumbles. Many people saw including a douchey indie rock group called "ice water"
  2. September 2, 2000 - route 2, williamstown, ma
    A newly minted sophomore in college, me and some friends were 'cruising' the new freshman dorms. Our evening ended abruptly when I had a 'yard sale' while crossing the main road in town. A gaggle of drunk freshmen watched as my friends human-crutched me home.
  3. September 25, 1996 - San Francisco, ca
    I was the new kid in school having moved from New York earlier that summer. I walked right into a plate glass door, and stacked hard on the floor. Worse than being a new kid, I was a "transfer student" meaning I was a sophomore and often confused for a new freshmen, but not by the group of freshmen who witnessed my plate glass special.
  4. October 16, 2014 - warren st, Brooklyn, ny
    Racing home to relieve a baby sitter, I made an ill-advised attempt to jump over a little garden plot in the middle of the sidewalk. Ripped (douche baggy) designer jeans and the babysitter was in such a rush she didn't notice all the blood on my elbow and ripper shirt.
  5. Last Friday - 5am living room of my apt
    Treated to a going away party by my colleagues as I head to a new job, I got hammered on a week night. I awoke after my customary 4 hours of bad booze sleep and stumbled to the living room to pass the time with recently purchased "M:I 2" on iTunes ( in anticipation of "M:I - Rogue Nation") before I could get to it I tripped over my daughters building blocks and managed to scrape/injure my lip/neck/collar/chest/knee. No idea how, but there were no young witnesses