SOME WEIRD THINGS I'VE NOTICED ABOUT PEOPLE WHILE INVESTIGATING DEATHS

  1. There are never Altoids in the tin. (It's usually drugs)
  2. When women shoot themselves they usually avoid the face, I'm guessing to preserve their beauty.
  3. A remarkable number of men die while pleasuring themselves. Heart attacks and hangings, mostly.
  4. There is probably a hoarder home in your neighborhood.
  5. People's last meals aren't as fancy as I think they should be. "McDonalds and a box of wine before I hang myself..."
  6. Prescription narcotics and soft bedding/pillows do not mix.
  7. Suicide notes are not the cathartic expositions you imagine. It's usually a simple goodbye.
  8. A lot of men do the "Donald Duck" when they're at home; that is, they wear a shirt and no bottoms.