If Drake Were A Magician, This Would Be His Act

  1. the lights dim. Drake emerges at the base of the stage. "STARTED FROM THE BOTTOM..." *poof!* he disappears in smoke. "NOW WE'RE HERE!" he reappears at the top of a giant platform. the audience applauds.
  2. Drake returns to the base of the stage and looks out into the audience. "I need a one dance..." an audience participant comes to the stage. "what's your name?" the man says, "Marvin."
  3. He commands Marvin to dance. "Make me proud," Drake says. The audience member does, until Drake says, "jump man jump man jump man jump man!" the audience member does so, and on the last jump is SUSPENDED IN MIDAIR!!! *ooohs and ahhhs*
  4. "Controlla... Controlla..." Drake is moving the suspended audience member around in midair... the audience is eating it up. Drake returns the man to the ground.
  5. Drake pulls out a deck of cards, asks Marvin to write a zero on it in sharpie and hold it in the palm of his hands. Drake feigns nervousness... "I just want to be successful," he says. Audience laughs.
  6. Suddenly, Drake waves his hand over the card. "Zero to a hundred real quick!" The card now has "100" written in sharpie. Marvin is shocked. Audience FLIPS out.
  7. Drake hands audience participant a prop gun. Waves his hands over the gun: "TRIGGER FINGERS TURN TO TWITTER FINGERS!" the prop gun instantaneously turns into an iPhone. *WHOA*
  8. suddenly the phone starts ringing. "I know when that hotline bling, that can only mean one thing!" Marvin picks up the phone, and says, "mom? is that you?"
  9. "JUST HOLD ON, WE'RE GOING HOME!" Drake says. Suddenly, in a flash, the audience member's mother and father appear onstage inside of a set labeled "MARVIN'S ROOM", his mother holding a phone. Audience is EATING it UP
  10. "Twitter fingers turn to trigger fingers!" now the Mom's phone turns into the prop gun from before. Drake is killing it at magic!!!!
  11. Drake has the participant and his parents line up... "Back to back..." With a *poof*, their jackets are magically sewn together!
  12. At this point, the audience is chanting, "DRAKE! DRAKE! DRAKE!" and Drake is touched. "What a time to be alive," he says,
  13. Drake moves away from the family, confusing the audience. "What am I doing, what am I doing?" The audience is still perplexed. "Oh, that's right, I'm just DOING ME!!!" in a flash, Drake is wearing the sewn together jacket!!!! audience is literally DYING
  14. in order to get the jackets back, Drake asks Marvin and his parents to chant "the motto"— they comply. "Yolo... Yolo... Yolo..." on the third "yolo", the jackets magically return to the family. ***uproarious applause***
  15. Drake thanks the family. "Take care," he says, as they walk back to their seats.
  16. Then Drake turns to the audience, his set coming to a close. He thanks them: "you da fucking best. The best I ever had"
  17. Audience responds, "THANK YOU DRAKE!!!" Drake coyly quips, "thank me later."
  18. Drake takes his bows. He knows he just slayed magic, his best act yet. He quietly yet triumphantly mutters to himself, "hell ya... fucking right." the curtain closes...
  19. ...and nothing was the same.