1. brian wilson's 1988 comeback hit "love and mercy" begins with this provocative lyric: "I was sittin' in a crummy movie with my hands on my chin/ all the violence that occurs seems like we will never win"
  2. this prompted me to ask: which movie offended brian wilson's sensibilities to the point that, not only would he bestow upon it such harsh invective as calling it "crummy", but that he would also put it in song, his grand return single, no less? brian really must've hated this movie.
  3. i started digging deeper. "love and mercy" began recording in April 1987, so the movie in question must have been released before or around then.
  4. and, given that "violence occurs", let's assume it's an action movie.
  5. also, because brian probably wasn't frequenting arthouses in the late 80's, let's assume it's a big-budget action movie.
  6. here are all the possible movies brian could've found "crummy" given the criteria:
  7. Lethal Weapon (released January 1st, 1987)
  8. Robocop (January 1st, 1987)
  9. Over The Top (February 12th, 1987)
  10. Platoon (December 19th, 1986)
  11. To Live And Die in L.A. (November 1st, 1986)
  12. i'm eliminating Platoon because it's a prestige film, so while Brian could've found it "crummy", i think it's unlikely.
  13. i think, given all of the context clues, and the use of the future tense ("we will never win") the most plausible film Brian Wilson hated would've contained technologically dystopian elements. with that in mind, my educated guess for the movie brian wilson found crummy is...
  14. ...
  15. ROBOCOP!!!!!
  16. honestly the idea of brian wilson sitting in a movie theater hating Robocop, saying, "man this is crummy" is like the funniest shit in the world to me