Sh*t my dad said...

  1. If you asked him how he was doing, a lot of times he'd say, "Better than nothin'! "
  2. When I asked him if he'd ever played sports in high school, he said "Yeah, football and baseball" (he grew up in a small town in Minnesota, not a huge talent pool!) I asked "What position did you play in football?" My dad said, "I was the main drawback". I said "What about baseball?" He said, "I was left out"
  3. When my dad would fart, he would say "Grab that and paint it blue for me, won't you?"