CLUE CHARACTERS, PAIRED WITH THE WEAPON I THINK THEY WOULD CHOOSE, RANKED LEAST TO MOST DEADLY

I think about this for at least two uninterrupted hours every day.
  1. Professor Plum + Wrench
    Look at him. He's weak. I know I could fight him and I don't even know what he's a professor of. He seems brittle and nervous. A wrench is useless in his hands. Nothing can make me fear "Professor" Plum.
  2. Mrs. Peacock + Candlestick
    Mrs. Peacock isn't stupid. But she didn't come to the mansion expecting any murder or mystery, which is why in a time of emergency she'd grab the worst possible weapon: the candlestick. And then she would be utterly ineffectual. If I kicked her hard enough she would fall down.
  3. Colonel Mustard + Rope
    I know what you're thinking: Col Mustard is the strongest and most hardened guy there. He should be considered the deadliest, & shouldn't be relegated to the middle. I used to agree with you, given his army past & awe-inspiring mustache. He knows his weapons. But doesn't he also look kinda like a cowboy who would have a lasso? I think so. And I think when you got right down to it, he wouldn't actually go through with killing. At his core, Col Mustard is a sensitive soul. Plus it's too obvious.
  4. Mrs. White + Revolver
    Mrs. White clearly has a gun on her at all times. Personally I think she's killed lots of people before. She's sick and tired of being the maid and has seen too much. She knows more secrets than anyone, and I'll bet she'd have a motive for killing whoever she wanted to. But do I think I could evade her and escape the house safely? Yes.
  5. Miss Scarlet + Dagger
    Too pretty to be convicted, even if she was covered in the victim's blood (her red dress disguises her). Literally no male juror would think she killed anyone. But she'd really go for it, and stab whoever she wanted to. It takes force to kill someone with a dagger, and I have no doubts she'd take her time with it. Also I have a gut feeling she's after jewels, and people who want crystals will go to any length to get them. Honestly, if I had to fight her, I'm not sure who would win.
  6. Mr. Green + Lead Pipe
    What do we know about Mr. Green? NOTHING! He's big and strong with a mean face. Green is the color of deception, & no one suspects a thing. He's not a professor, colonel, rich lady, or maid. Some speculated he was once a reverend, which just makes him sketchier. Who would pick a lead pipe as a weapon? Only a violent-minded super-criminal. The thought of him lurking in the billiards room keeps me up at night. The lead from the pipe wouldn't even poison him—he's THAT dangerous. #1 deadliest combo.