WHAT I WANTED TO BE GROWING UP, CHRONOLOGICALLY

  1. a dinosaur
    thought triceratops were the coolest but definitely only wanted to be a t-rex because they're at the top of the food chain
  2. a painter
    wow what a surprise
  3. dolphin trainer
    goes to seaworld one time, touches a dolphin for .002 seconds, finds Personal Calling at age 6
  4. fashion designer
    two questions: 1. why did my parents let me watch the devil wears prada so early, 2. why did I find that lifestyle appealing at all???
  5. pastry chef
    honestly fuck food network for this I legit wanted to go to culinary school
  6. neuroscientist
    because I thought I was really smart
  7. graphic designer
    because I realized I'm really stupid
  8. illustrator
    discovered graphic design is lame as hell and involves zero drawing
  9. storyboard artist
    because I don't love myself enough to do a normal thing