Things I'm cynical about
  1. Not being "good with names"
    You remembered that there is a 5 for $35 panty sale at Victoria's Secret but we've had class together all semester and you don't know what to call me? Cool.
  2. ICE Sparkling Juice is made with not that many ingredients
    That stuff is so flavorful and deeeelicious. My brain doesn't understand!
  3. People are still entertained with the "Real Housewives" shenanigans
    Seriously? There has to be like 27482 spin-offs by now. And another thing: who even watches these shows?
  4. People "like" to run
    It's really the worst. You have some free time? Here, don't read a book or chat with your roommates, fill it with knee pain and sweatiness
  5. You haven't read/have no interest in reading Harry Potter
    That's a buncha crap. You probably just spend all your time running
  6. You don't wish there is a chocolate fountain at every wedding you're invited to
    Surrrre. And I only had one piece of wedding cake
  7. The shipping charge on anything
    Why why why does it cost 8 dollars for me to receive a freakin' CD in the mail. If I wanted to pay 30 bucks, I woulda got it on vinyl