These are rudimentary relationship things I wish I had known about guys when I was younger, but had to learn myself, as the French would say, "le hard way". For my girls in their confused, wonderful 20s.
  1. If no one but a small handful of your girlfriends knows you're dating, you are not dating.
  2. A tortured guy who is treating you badly is the same as a regular guy who is treating you badly. Maybe even worse because he wants your sympathy while he's treating you badly.
  3. Hanging out isn't dating.
  4. Spending every waking minute together isn't dating, either.
  5. Having an intense personal connection isn't dating EITHER!
  6. Plainly put, even if the guy is doing the above three, but is having sex with other people, you are not dating.
  7. It does not mean much if the guy introduces you to his family.
  8. A man can be doing domestic things with you (going to Target, watching the Bachelor, picking up sushi for you from Whole Foods) and is capable of doing the same domestic things with other women. In the same week even!
  9. The knee jerk advice your friends give you about this guy is correct 100% of the time.
  10. Just because you befriended the girls in your guys life does not mean they will think twice about sleeping with him. They actually think it's hotter in kind of a hot, betrayal way.
  11. If only your handful of girlfriends know you're dating, YOU ARE NOT DATING. Like, he needs to tell stories and anecdotes about you that begin "my girlfriend did the coolest thing." Etc
    On here twice because it's the most important.
  12. The truth is, when a guy is dating you, he is the most excited to tell the whole world because he doesn't want anyone else to have you.
  13. I guarantee you there a literally dozens of guys who are mad I posted this list because of how much it pulls back the curtain on their player ways.