MY DREAM SPIN CLASS INSTRUCTOR

  1. will not ask us to interact with the people next to us
    No high fives, no saying "I'm proud of you.", no turning up their resistance for them
  2. Will tell us about their lives but not very much
    I like knowing you were a little hungover this morning. I don't like knowing you had problematic parents.
  3. will not sing along to Beyoncé or Rihanna
    I LOVE you playing Freedom from Lemonade but when you sing along it's literally like we are watching you do karaoke of it, the worst thing in the world. I know it's tempting but you're not alone in your car right you, you gotta chill
  4. Will not call me out by name in the positive or the affirmative
    I'm a ghost, I want to flit around in sweaty anonymity
  5. Will keep to the times she or he announces
    If you say "10 seconds left" and then it's like 40, I'm literally so betrayed and pissed I cannot speak
  6. Drop some truths but nothing too topical or major, that's weird and disrespectful
    Love "the way you do this is the way you anything". Hate "ride for all the people in Orlando today"
  7. Not spend a ton of time feting a rider with a birthday
    We all have birthdays! I'm not riding for Susan on her 27th birthday! I don't care!
  8. Will not make a big deal if people are really bad and out of sync and look uncool
    Ie. Me. One time I left class early and the instructor followed me out, all concerned and shouted on her mic, "SOMEBODY HELP HER!".