MY PERFECT SUNDAY

  1. Wake up at 6:30AM, get glass of cold water, notice the charming stillness of your house, drink half the glass, go back to sleep
  2. Wake up for real at 8:30. Unable to allow anyone else to rest while you are awake, rouse person sleeping next to you by asking him questions
    "What is the difference between Motown and the Blues?"
  3. Have sex with him.
    The best reward for sharing knowledge is having great sex with a person.
  4. Go to barre class around 9:30.
    Do about 60% of the exercises.
  5. Come home, shower quickly and rejoice in not having to blow dry your hair.
    Loose air-dried waves like a mermaid, much?
  6. Roll into Barney Greengrass around 11. Stare at ritzy dream cars at valet.
    Maybachs! Spiders! Bentleys! You are inspired now; I will not just be rich, I will one day be RICH AS HELL
  7. Read the Times, which he procured while you were at barre class.
    I'll take the Arts and Styles and Real Estate sections, please. You can have front page and Automotive. There are no pretenses between us.
  8. Breakfast is: Gravlax with scooped poppy seed bagel, two mimosas, all followed by a black and white cookie.
    Maybe you share some hash browns.
  9. Wander around Barneys, buy a pair of espadrilles you will never wear.
    While he checks emails and makes lists on the List app. You unsuccessfully try to get him to buy those sandals Seth Meyers wears.
  10. Go home and work on some writing project in backyard on blanket for an hour
    Keep falling asleep because you drank too much at breakfast
  11. Have afternoon sex.
  12. Immediately search freezer for Talenti gelato.
    And there is some there! Caramel cookie crunch. Eat pantsless in front of freezer.
  13. Read half of a new thriller about a wonderfully flawed, immoral New York City literary girl with a dark past.
    This is a new genre of fiction and I love it!
  14. Suddenly so starved, go to ChoSun Galbi
    Let the women there order for you, never having to exchange any words, relying on pointing and smiles
  15. Come home, sleepy, lie on sofa while he watches the violent cable drama he likes.
    Ask him more questions about the convoluted plot. "Please, shut up." He says, not unkindly.
  16. Go to sleep with all your clothes on.
    But with your phone charging.