UNFORGIVABLE ACTIONS

  1. Being late for a movie
  2. Not liking The Lord Of The Rings trilogy, or at least acknowledging their grandeur
  3. Leaving your plate on the table after dinner
  4. Coming to a costume party in no costume
  5. Singing "happy birthday" slowly
  6. Saying you are "not a morning person"
  7. Saying you are "bad with names"
  8. Owning a dog that barks uncontrollably or bites
    This is a dog bite I got recently from a dog I was encouraged "to pet so he doesn't bite you."
  9. Sending an e-card for a birthday
  10. Piling on outrage to indisputable targets on social media (ie "Boko Haram sucks, you guys!")
  11. Going on two dates with someone and writing a pilot about them
  12. Having a lot of intense allergies and being on a writing staff and not allowing them to eat lunch at places
  13. Making jokes in group exercise classes
  14. Not wearing your seatbelt
  15. Posting photos of James Dean or Audrey Hepburn on Instagram
  16. Saying "brain fart" or "retarded"