1. I will be fucking huge
  2. I won't be a good sport about it
  3. I will be that crazy actress where she thinks she's the first person to ever have a baby in the world
  4. I will eat McD's every day
  5. I will not be stylish and put together
  6. I will have a c-section and demand to be put out a day before the delivery and not woken until two days after
  7. I will not breast feed
  8. I will hire two nannies