According to me.
  1. An article in Deadline announcing a project or that you've been signed by a major agency.
    You're no one unless someone insults you in the comments section of a Deadline article.
  2. Step-and-repeat photos with Getty Images watermarks
    I just love these.
  3. An agent who never calls you
    You're nobody unless your agent ignores you.
  4. A manager who calls you sometimes
    Managers are cute.
  5. Black-and-white photos of yourself at Soho House
    I see these everywhere on Facebook and I'm very jealous.
  6. Soho House membership
    This is just my way of asking everyone on to write me recommendations. Hi, @bjnovak ✌🏾️
  7. Membership in WGA or DGA
    Unions are important.
  8. You attend barre or Soulcycle regularly
    You have the leisure time to take care of your health.
  9. You have a lot of friends who are "execs"
    Some are good, some are evil.
  10. You go to parties where you don't even know the host
    Why does this keep happening to me?
  11. Every weekend, your night ends up with you waking up in a mansion in the Hollywood Hills
    This has never happened to me.
  12. Notable people in film have liked your tweets
    David Lowery and Ava Duvernay and Destin Daniel Cretton liked my tweets. And Brie Larson and Jessica Chastain. I AM MAKING IT.
  13. You have a nice European car
    My last car was a Volkswagen Jetta.
  14. Your friends "know everyone"
    I'm looking at you @samboyd.
  15. You have a friend who is a former model
  16. You know a guy who knew a guy who worked with Ryan Coogler
  17. You've gone to Sundance but saw no movies
    I've never been but why do people go if they aren't going to see the films?
  18. Some exec thought your script was "well-written"
  19. You went on a bunch of generals that led to exactly nothing
    Personal opinion: generals are useless.
  20. You force execs to meet you in Venice because you can't be bothered to Uber to them
    I have done this & they have complied.
  21. You're always "busy"
  22. You have 5 projects you're writing
  23. You are always on the edge of something great
  24. You're hanging onto LA by the skin of your teeth
  25. You're a hustler
  26. You fight for the stories you care about
  27. You never really "make" it
  28. It's all in your head
  29. Work is work is work is work
  30. The rest, the step & repeats and generals and nice words and mixers and meetings and parties and famous people DO NOT MATTER.
  31. (This list is not about me.)