1. Mistake me as a native New Yorker
  2. Approach me for directions in any city
    I probably don't know where you're going but I'm honored I look like I do.
  3. Acknowledge my hair looks good without touching it
    We probably don't know each other. Don't.
  4. Include me in your ritualistic food plans
    Family dinner, brunch, sad pizza etc.
  5. Relist/reblog/retweet me
  6. Include "she's funny" when introducing me to someone else
    see above.
  7. Text me with emojis instead of words
    we're at THAT level of friendship
  8. Hire me
    You like me so much you want to give me money. Yes.