WHAT I LEARNED IN MY LYFT LINE TONIGHT

Left Seat and Right Seat were in my lyft line. This is what I learned.
  1. Celia is 24. She went to Harvard. She sucks and we hate her.
  2. Scott is hanging with some chick named Anne.
  3. Scott made plans to hang out and now he wants to hang out with some chick named Celia?!
  4. Jen said "there are some dumb fucking emojis and she should be on the emoji committee"
  5. Left Seat thinks right seat shouldn't be friends with Jen anymore since she only complains about Jen whenever she comes up
  6. Jen is Right Seats placeholder, you know?
  7. Jen is "so good" to Right Seat but she "feels so bad"
  8. Right Seat has told Left Seat all of this before. God. She knows this.