Requested by Brooke

THOUGHTS I HAVE WHILE LIFEGUARDING

  1. Why is it so damn hot on this pool deck
  2. No sorry m'am I don't have time to get your kid googles cause I, you know, have to make sure he doesn't drown
  3. Here's a thought: if you don't know what lanes are open, go and ~*lOoK*~
  4. 5-8 year old children are quite literally the worst human beings I will ever encounter
  5. THE GUTTER IS NOT A TRASH CAN
  6. i. hate. the. sub.
  7. pleasedonottalktomepleasedonottalktomeple- fuck
  8. Human hair is so gross
  9. Why are all the old ladies at water aerobics so savage
  10. There was one time a guy was wearing a skin colored swim suit and I thought he was naked in the pool
  11. Perks of kids parties: leftover food
  12. Cons of kids parties: kids
  13. My personal hell is watching summer camp kids in the pool forever
  14. Indoor pools might suck but at least we don't have bugs