1. You were allergic to wifi?
  2. Pizza had zero calories and actually made you smarter?!
  3. You had Oprah's email address?
  4. We all understood money as a social construct?
    Then what?! Chills man, I got chills.
  5. You could imagine all the people?
  6. We were all as good at stuff as Louis CK is at all the stuff he's good at?
  7. iPhones had more snooze options?
    Why 9 minutes? What's that?! Also this should be on a list titled, "WHY NOT?"
  8. Beyoncé just showed up at your office and applied for a normal ass job?
    You'd have a moral obligation to change her mind right?
  9. Politicians had to have dance offs to run for office?
    Or a karaoke battle!
  10. You're the person who can explain to me how things work?
    Like airplanes and the Internet and bitcoins. Are you?
  11. What if you ate yourself?
    Do you become twice as big or disappear completely?
    Suggested by @rebecca