First it should be made clear, I never worked at a cigarette store.
  1. My first week of work when I got in trouble for not smoking enough weed!
    I miss that job
  2. Everyone thinks they're your number one best friend.
    I think most people buy weed from their actual homie, I had to remind people so often that we do not in fact have a real relationship. Please leave.
  3. When I came to work and Xzibit was already in the building.
  4. Famous people, or like kinda famous people.
    It's the only scenario in which an actor hopes no one recognizes them. Cause you know, it's sort of illegal, but like, they want their weed too.
  5. When we made a sizzle reel for a reality show.
    When I watched the reel back I was like, "we must been fucking insane! We can't make this show! (My arms look so fat)." My dad was really disappointed in me. He was looking forward to seeing me on TV, and getting a producer credit.
  6. This one time when that guy claimed to be some kind of royalty from Africa.
    He was very angry when we wouldn't let him in the building and promised he was calling the UN, and we were gonna be in real trouble. Then our security guard actually called his old gang members to get this dude to leave. That was like a Wednesday.
  7. The time that guy left his puppy in the hash bar and I kept it for two weeks until I found a good home for him.
    I named him George, after my grandfather. He was a pit bull and blue-grey and I still think about him.
  8. That time a guy gave me a pound of weed for being, "chill as hell."
    Yeah. A pound. But it wasn't good weed so I sold it to my boss for very cheap. Is that bad?
  9. There are so many but I can't remember them all, cause y'know?