WHAT NOT TO DO WITH YOUR NEW CRUSH

  1. Send him ambiguous texts about fun plans that you may or may not show up to.
  2. Call him out on the spot when he tells you he "accidentally" pocket dialed you (Srsly, bro? You "pocket dialed" me? You can just call. The world keeps turning.)
  3. Hang out with his friends without him.
  4. Flirt with his friends to try and get his attention.
  5. Tell him a sob story about how your ex has the same name.
  6. Overstay your welcome at his roommate's birthday party, and realize you're the last one to leave. Alone.
  7. Break their house plant on the way out.
  8. Did I mention date his friend? Oops.
  9. Tell him he's cute five times in one sitting, thanks to the shot he bought you. (One time is enough.)
  10. Refuse to take his number after waiting for him to give you his number claiming he took too long to give you his number -- wait, what?!
  11. This last one isn't a tip: just a final reminder that I AM A COMPLETELY UNDATEABLE PERSON. The end. :)