The Right Answer to Loaded Questions

my dudes, here's what you should say if a girl asks you these questions
  1. "When's your birthday?"
    answer with your zodiac sign so that she doesn't have to google
  2. "What do you like to do for fun?"
    "make midnight Wendy's frosty runs and watch crazy ex-girlfriend in bed"
  3. "Are you close to your mom?"
    yes and I'm excited to be close to yours ☺️
  4. "Are you still in touch with your exes?"
    State this very carefully: "no. I mean, we're still on good terms and I respect her very much but we don't talk anymore 🙂"
  5. "Do you like to cook?"
    Yes, do you want some angel hair pasta with pesto and artichokes for dinner tonight??"