CHEAT LIST

I'm not married, but if I were, this would be my Cheat List. Laminated.
  1. David Beckham
    If you don't find Becks obscenely attractive, your parts don't work.
  2. Pharrell
    Pharrell makes me feel faint. I'm so serious.
  3. Chris Pine
    I'll probably end up married to Chris Pine though, right? BONUS: frees up a spot on the list.
  4. Harry Styles
    Yes. YES. He's 12 years younger than I am but guess who gives a fuck?? Me. That's what this list is about.
  5. Matt Damon
    I love Matt Damon wicked hard. Always.
  6. Alternates: JAMES FRANCO, Adam Brody, Usher, Zach Galifinakis, Andy Samberg, Seth Meyers