I'm not married, but if I were, this would be my Cheat List. Laminated.
- •David BeckhamIf you don't find Becks obscenely attractive, your parts don't work.
- •PharrellPharrell makes me feel faint. I'm so serious.
- •Chris PineI'll probably end up married to Chris Pine though, right? BONUS: frees up a spot on the list.
- •Harry StylesYes. YES. He's 12 years younger than I am but guess who gives a fuck?? Me. That's what this list is about.
- •Matt DamonI love Matt Damon wicked hard. Always.
- •Alternates: JAMES FRANCO, Adam Brody, Usher, Zach Galifinakis, Andy Samberg, Seth Meyers