Ways to Use My (as of Yet Un-won) Lottery Money

The second part of the American Dream: wealth without work. Who doesn't fantasize about winning the lottery?
  1. Buy a House
    A headquarters for all of my plans, schemes and dreams.
  2. Hire a Breakfast Boy
    Duties as follows: come to my house each weekday morning to lay-out my outfit for the day, cook me breakfast and draw my bath. Gently wake me with a glass of orange juice. Bonus: if he looks like Dean Cain. Uniform: white t-shirt and boxer shorts. NOTE: this is a non-sexual job.
  3. Buy my mom a new car
    And then let's just call it even.
  4. Hire a Bedtime Boy
    Duties as follows: Sun.-Thurs. arrives at my home 45 minutes before bedtime, gently rubs my back until I fall asleep. After which he cleans the kitchen, turns off all the lights and locks up on his way out. NOTE: this is a non-sexual job.
  5. Create a transitional housing program for teens aging-out of the foster care system.
    Give them a chance after a rough time in an imperfect system.
  6. Hire a Personal Trainer
    I want to make sure I'm around long enough to enjoy the windfall.
  7. Buy Some Green Space
    There's too much cement in our world. Create some verdant pockets for sanity.
  8. Pay off all that I'll-gotten debt resulting from under-employment and post-breakup retail therapy .
  9. Open a Small Cafe
    That stays open until midnight for the creatively caffeinated folks who don't want to hang out in bars.