THE IDEAL NYC FRUITSTAND VENDER
Days like today make me miss my old fruitstand pal, who would throw in a nectarine in summer and insist on taking a group photo on pretty days. Ok, it's a little creepy he said he had my photo on his fridge-- but he was courteous and never ripped me off.
- •Is dog friendly. Cuss words are spared in any language. It's best to not hate on dogs when a business is the only accessible fruit and vegetable supplier to those of us walking our pups 3x a day.
- •Is women friendly. Perhaps he doesn't cuss out old ladies or practice old world interactions that make fruit stand man think he is a powerful dictator and all female shoppers are part of his harem.
- •Lets you purchase your five bananas without angrily insisting you purchase three discounted cartons of soggy, moldy strawberries.
- •Agrees that the rock hard avocado is not ripe instead of mocking your poor taste in things that are too soft- except his ultra-soft zucchini that you would not even consider purchasing for a quarter.
- •Charges a buck for your choice of a bag of onions, a sack of garlic, or an avocado.
- •Does not try and short you change. Or somehow rationalize that tiny tomato weighs a pound and a half and rounds up to two bucks since they go for $1/pound.
- •Can be easily found. Even if he is sleeping in his car or warming up in a nearby ATM lobby in the dead of winter.
- •When low on stock, he will throw away truly bad vegetables instead of selling a pack of mushrooms that could kill an entire family when you tiredly schlep home and start cooking a black, heinous mush that smells like one would imagine a Teenaged Mutant Ninja Turtle to smell like.