WHEN THE BOYFRIEND LEAVES TOWN

  1. Starfish. All night long. My chihuahua begs to take the boyfriend's spot on the bed but it is all mine. And my sleep is amazing.
  2. I am not scolded when my curling iron or blow dryer cords dangle over their holder and touch the floor.
  3. No one to fight with over who walks the dog. And I feel happy walking the pup every time because I know it is solely my duty.
  4. I eat without anxiety or fear of not getting enough. Sure, I had half a bowl of homemade guac leftover but I certainly wouldn't have been able to enjoy as much as half of it with a hungry man around.
  5. No dirty men's gym clothes soaking in vinegar in the bathtub the exact minute I need a shower before work.
  6. I eat so much more healthily. Corn and bean salad and fresh veggies and a piece of cheese are my dinner when not required to serve a meal with three components and a boatload of animal protein.
  7. My coffee is strong. No more do I have to argue that the coffee is a teaspoon short of the bold flavour I desire. And coffee lasts for days in the fridge in my french press. And I don't get lectured on how the coffee is better when fresh and hot.
  8. There is wine in the house and it lasts! After a hard day of work, I come home to find wine waiting for me rather than an empty bottle where "there was barely one glass left" has been emptied by a man who hates my wine and prefers beer anyway.
  9. The toilet paper and paper towel roll placed so the paper is over and not under.
  10. I can dance around naked in the living room. Oh, who am I kidding? I do that anyway.
  11. I get to write new songs about the boyfriend without him sitting in the room next to me. The downside is I miss the ear-worm test-- if the boyfriend hears a new song of mine and sings it the rest of the week then the hook is effective.
  12. I no longer start and end my day with the most heinous news stories being read aloud from the NY Daily News.
  13. It's cuss and shout free around here. Why do men get so loud and emotional when they spill something, lose something, forget something, or just don't like the way something looks or behaves? Welcome to the chill zone.