My dad went to some fancy schmancy boarding school growing up. As a result they beat table manners into him. Which then he instilled on to. And I'm not talking your basic elbows off the table.
  1. Well, yes elbows on the table.
    I was raised with fairly strict dinner rules and it blows my mind that no one else was. GET YO ELBOWS OFF DA TABLE
  2. Holding a fork with your hand over it.
    Hold a fork like you are holding a pen to write. Not with your hand on top of the handle. My husband does this and it takes every bone in my body to not say something.
  3. Napkin on the lap
    Don't just discard it to some other part of the table to search for it again.
  4. Talking with your cultery in hand.
    As my dad used to say "Elsa, you can put your fork down. It won't run away".
  5. When you are eating at a banquet table and someone doesn't understand which items are theirs
    It never fails. You sit down at a wedding and someone has started it. They drank out of the wrong water glass and then everyone else is all "is this mine or yours?". Same with the elusive side plate. It just takes one to throw the whole table off and I'm their doing my best to not roll my eyes.
  6. That extra knife and fork
    It never fails. Someone gets all squirrely about why they have two knives and two forks. Salad guys. For the salad. When I used to be a banquet server and people could understand the difference between steak knife and salad knife I would either leave them with the salad knife to eat their steak or take the steak knife they used for their salad and put back on the table, picking up the clean correct knife they should have used.
  7. Chewing with your mouth full of food
  8. Getting up and leaving the dinner table when people are still eating.
    My ex used to do this. We would make dinner. He'd wolf his down and then bugger off. HOW IS THIS OKAY??? My husband did this to, until I snapped him out of it. But it's still okay at his parents house. I can't handle it. I'm like glued to my chair until the last person is done.
  9. When finished dinner the fork and knife are placed at the 4 o'clock position on your plate
    My husband thinks I'm nuts for this. But I have to do it. And I secretly judge people who don't do. Which is pretty much the majority of people my age.