MY FIRST MOTHER'S DAY AS A MOM

This is my first year as a mom on Mother's Day. These are my thoughts.
  1. It's been a hard 10 months
    We don't have a lot of family here that can help so it's my husband and I. While we can get a babysitter, we often don't because then we have to tack on $30 or $40 to whatever it is we are doing.
  2. My husband works full time
    He does 10 hour days/5 days a week. I LIVE for the weekend. Because then I can do things like take a shower longer than 3 minutes. Or make food without a baby on my hip.
  3. My husband means well
    But he chooses to do things that don't involve really giving me a break. Like cooking dinner. Or mowing the lawns. All things that need to be done, but all things that involve me watching our 10 month old. I love it. But everyone needs a break. Let me cook. And you chill with the baby.
  4. I'm with the baby 21 hours a day
    She JUST starting doing stretches of sleep in the crib for 2 or three hours at night. Naps are about 39 minutes. She sleeps beside me because well, I want to sleep too.
  5. I announced for Mother's Day what I wanted
    To do something by myself. For me to go out to the mall or just have a coffee. Alone.
  6. Because usually when I do those things I have tag alongs
    My husband is smart. If he hears I'm going to go and do something he will cheerily say "I'd like to come with you!" Because it's easier for him to wander the mall with the baby and me than be alone with the baby.
  7. So when I announced this is, it was met with resistance
    WHY? Don't you want to be with your family?
  8. Even my own mom was puzzled
    Why would you want to go to the mall alone?
  9. Then I had guilt
    Mom guilt. I almost didn't go. I almost said forget it and said I'd help with the gardens. Which really meant tend to the baby while my husband did the yard work
  10. But I knew I had to
    So I went to the mall. Alone.
  11. I got a coffee.
    I was able to drink it and have another hand free to browse.
  12. I tried things on.
    And took my time. Because I knew there wasn't a stroller with whining or a pacing husband.
  13. I looked at water bottles for 20 minites
    Because I could. Because no one was pitching a fit beside me. I got a Nathan water bottle.
  14. I was only gone for two hours.
    But it felt great.
  15. And my husband was able to do yard work
    Surprise surprise. You can do things with a baby.
  16. But why do I have to have a special day
    Does this mean I can only do this once a year?