Things my mom wishes I would forget.

My mom is... special
  1. Seeing your parents having sex
    Yes, starting off strong with the most obvious and yet truly disturbing thing BOTH of us wish I had never seen. BLLEEECCCHHH
  2. That old lady who fell out of a car
    It is not surprising that I hate car related movies after witnessing an elderly woman fall out of a moving vehicle and get run over by a Toyota pick up truck when I was about 5. My mom decided to claim I had dreamed the entire thing up until about 4 years ago when she admitted that she was trying to trick me into forgetting it. My MOTHER IS A THERAPIST
  3. That time mom told the construction crew at our house how I had just gotten my first period and I was 14.
  4. Witnessing your mother nude sunbathing in the backyard. Every week for 6 years.
    It being the 80's is totally NOT a valid excuse for this horrifying display.
  5. Having my morning alarm clock be my mother... Nakedly shaking me to wake me up in the morning.
    I am a grown up now... And I still have to tell her to not come into my room naked ever.
  6. Watching in horror as my mother's Christmas farewell to her new -and rather short- Inlaws was to jump to the ground and show them how to do a proper "downward dog" yoga move with her ass literally 6.75" from the face of my sister' new father-in-law.