Is your feed blowing the fuck up with stupid cooking vids? Mine is! Hey gang, you wanna lose weight maybe don't stuff bacon cheese and Nutella into everything.
  1. It's a ball!
    Yes! A ball it could be meat of any kind or cake. Spend endless hours rolling your food up into tiny fucking mouth shaped balls so that you don't even need those pesky knives, just "pop" it in your food hole!
  2. Muffin tins!!
    When you still can't be bothered to cook for life sized humans but your hands are tired from rolling up cheesy gooey chicken parm balls go ahead and over complicated and over cook your food in muffin tins. Because you know...scrambling an egg for breakfast is so fucking hard, why bother when I could just dirty up 200% more dishes and wait 3x longer for terrible over cooked oven egglette cups to be done. Don't worry I'll just load up the crock pot while those puppies are cooking.
  3. Slow cook it!
    Why spend only 30 minutes making a simple dinner using pots, pans and only the most elementary culinary skills when you can slowly cook terrible food in the mush-making machine for 6-8 hours? Set it! Forget it! Get take out anyway!!
  4. Stuff it!
    Cheese! Chocolate! Nutella! Bacon! You can stuff balls of meat with other meats or quasi precisely measured lumps of cheese! Go crazy!!!
  5. Everything pizza!
    Is everyone I know basically always cooking for a Super Bowl party? When did Pizza need to be a dip? What was wrong with just pizza? Nothing that's what! Absolutely nothing. Just order the pizza or the wings. Save yourself the 8 hours of cooking and making buffalo pizza stuffed chicken slow cooker balls and ORDER THE FUCKING PIZZA!!
  6. Dough!!
    Dough. Frozen dough. Can't make chocolate bacon slow cooked slow cooker monkey bread without pre-made pizza dough or sweet dough or a pie crust. ArrrrGggggghh!!!!
  7. Top it with cheese
    Duh. Can't eat it if it's not covered in cheese