TASKS I WOULD ASSIGN TO MY PERSONAL ASSISTANT (IF I HAD ONE)

Inspired by @ListPrompts
  1. Driver
    So I could be buzzed on mimosas and wine all day.
  2. Waking me up
    Like actually waking me up and even splashing water on me if they have to to make sure I get up on time. Because anyone who knows me knows I am late to EVERYTHING which I hate myself for.
  3. Personal chef/personal trainer
    After waking me up and while I got ready they would be making me a healthy, green smoothie. And at night they would guide me in workouts. I'd be so hot, you guys.
  4. Personal shopper/errand runner
    They would have mailed out my Secret Santa's present by now.
  5. Email/file organizer
    They'd basically be like Samantha from Her except we wouldn't fall in love. That would just complicate things.
  6. Dating PR
    They would scope out all my dating apps for me and do the initial talking. They'd weed out guys who aren't funny, or are mean, or wear pooka shell necklaces, etc. and they'd set up coffee dates for me with quality guys. That really cute guy I matched w/? She didn't make that happen because he "just didn't find any female comedians funny". Yeah she'd have my back like that...