1. So when I was in the 5th grade we were given the option to either play an instrument or be in choir.
  2. I chose to play the flute but I didn't get my flute right away. Probably because I sprung the news on my parents the day before.
  3. So I didn't have a flute the first couple weeks of practice. And when I finally did get one I had no idea what to do.
  4. But I figured, it's OK I'll catch up.
  5. But then weeks turned into months and I still didn't know how to play the flute.
  6. And I was too scared to tell my parents and too embarrassed to tell my instructor.
  7. So I pretended. I moved my fingers at random and pretended to blow air into it.
  8. And I think the boy I shared a podium with the whole year (the only boy who played the flute) knew but he was cool about it.
  9. So I kept it up.
  10. And even pretend played the flute at recitals which my parents attended and even took me out to celebrate afterwards. Taco Bell bc that was my favorite (I was a fat kid).
  11. And I felt guilty but I kept doing it.
  12. But then one day the boy I shared a podium with couldn't make it to a recital.
  13. So I had to share a stand with this one girl and she knew instantly.
  14. And I'll never forget her face and the whispers to her friends and my face getting red and the shame.
  15. And I was terrified to go to the next practice. Made myself sick thinking about it.
  16. But nothing happened. The girls just smirked at me and never told the instructor.
  17. So I went back to sharing my stand with the only boy who played the flute and continued to lie.
  18. And I did it all over again in the sixth grade.
  19. And my parents still don't know.