EVERYTHING IS TOO LOUD AND BRIGHT

When I can't sleep it's usually because I hear sounds or see light. My white noise machine helps a lot. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if random things didn't wake me up all the time. Here's what does wake me on a nightly basis.
  1. My cat: eating, drinking, pooping, walking, jumping. She's just loud and awkward.
  2. The furnace.
  3. Neighbors.
  4. Birds.
  5. My own breathing.
  6. The weird sound my pillow makes if I move my head.
  7. The sun.
  8. The moon.
  9. The stupid display clock on the cable box.
  10. The smoke detector indicator light.
  11. The humidifer.
  12. The wind.
  13. Stink bugs flying into the wall and hopefully dying.
  14. My phone vibrating.