My Husband Trying to Explain Game Of Thrones to Me

I've watched all of season 6 because we finally have HBO this year. Then this weekend we realized, sometime in the last couple of weeks, Xfinity opened up season one On Demand. So I started back at the beginning. A bookend of the series, if you will. Ill-advised.
  1. Watching season 1
    Me: is she dead now? Why does she like him? They break up eventually, right? Or does he die? Should I like him? I definitely don't like him. When is Winter coming? Everyone looks alike. What's his name again? I thought there were dragons?
  2. Husband:
    how can you not tell? It's berjsjsbc who is the son of endhsuahd and lord of the shchejebwhxciejw. They live in cieicobhhzvee. Bdhehxhebeb and gifuevehccjd are brother and sister. But idhcjsneb is enrbcnekxj's bastard son. DUH! Pay attention!
  3. Watching season 6
    Me: Wait. So she's not married to that one guy anymore. Did that other person die? I thought she had a twin, who hung out in the forest with the tall one? When did they leave the wall? Why is that guy so pale? Why is her hair so short? I DONT REMEMBER ANY OF THEIR NAMES AND THEY ALL LOOK ALIKE.
  4. Husband:
    Watching with you is getting increasingly infuriating. We need a map, with a legend and a list of all the families.
  5. Me:
    Yessss! That would help me greatly. I bet someone has made one. I'll go look on etsy.