How to Eat a Crepe

We all love the flakey delicacy from France! Read these tips, and you'll seem like an expert around your friends!
  1. 1.
    Buy the crepe!
    I prefer a savory one with chicken and veggies, but they all are tasty! You can't go wrong!
  2. 2.
    Sit down and open the box!
    It's like getting a non-denominational holiday present!
  3. 3.
    Realize something about this crepe is... off!
    Seriously, something's not right here. Shouldn't it be thicker or, I don't know, wrapped up more? I hear people talk about them all the time. There's gotta be more than just this.
  4. 4.
    Attempt to eat with your eating instincts!
    It came in one of those pizza boxes they give you at the mall, but you obviously shouldn't eat this handheld. I guess you'll have to eat with a flimsy, plastic fork and knife they threw ON TOP of your crepe, making them all steamy.
  5. 5.
    Get angry!
    The fucking thing's falling apart! The ingredients are mixed with the thin wax paper that you're cutting to shreds. This was supposed to be a pancake burrito! We're fucked, everyone.
  6. 6.
    Fuck it; eat with your hands!
    Screw the French. I'm eating this shit MY way! I paid $9 for this. I'm getting my goddamn money's worth!
  7. 7.
    Buy Chipotle after realizing you're still hungry even after consuming a whopping handful of bread, meat, cheese, and veggies!
    I like a burrito bowl (less carbs), but there are no bad options!
  8. 8.
    Recommend your friends to try a crepe!
    Tell them how authentic, rustic, or "hearth-baked" it was. Make them feel like a lesser homunculus for not eating ethnic foods!