The Five Stages of Buying a Poop Emoji Pillow
- 1.Denial"Oh my god. I can't believe this exists. There's no way I can purchase this and have it in my home. No way."
- 2.Anger"Fuck! I spent $15 on a plush smiling poop? What the hell's wrong with me? I bought this as a goddamn BIT!"
- 3.Bargaining"Please let people think that I'm unique, quirky, and funny for this purchase. Also, I need it to feel like a real pillow and not a bean bag. Lord, I'll do anything for this to end well. I can't afford another blunder purchase that I regret right when I hold it in my hands."
- 4.Depression"I really did waste my money. I work hard to make a living, and I flushed it all away (no pun intended). What have I become that I try to get my jollies from real-life phone representation?"
- 5.Acceptance"Actually, this is pretty funny. I like this on my futon. Good purchase!"