Inspired by @applesarahgate & @k8mcgarry because this is a really fun idea. Wow, this list is very white and male.
  1. Conan
    I was obsessed with Conan back in high school during the tailend of his Late Night days, so this would be a huge score for teenage me.
  2. The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
    He's smart, and he just seems like the coolest, most amiable guy.
  3. Late Night with Seth Meyers
    I would just use the opportunity to bother him with a million questions about SNL, Stefon, and whether or not Amy Poehler needs any new buddies.
  4. Last Week Tonight
    I know John Oliver doesn't really have guests in the traditional sense unless it's vvvvvvv important, but I would love to be in one of those sketches/fake infomercials he has celebrities do.
  5. The Daily Show
    Preferably with Jon Stewart. Trevor Noah is all right, and still growing into the position, but Jon is my fave and we could make fun of cable news together.
  6. Honorable (fictional) mention:
    8a1574cc 7c33 4f16 8f78 11e13f1c8c6b
    Ya' Heard? With Perd. Obviously.