New Rules for Opening Day

  1. 1.
    Designate it a national holiday
    Hey, if you don't like baseball you still get a whole day off. I'll be getting shitfaced at the bar celebrating our national pastime.
  2. 2.
    First Monday in April
    Small detail after the first rule. Forget the Sunday night stuff and the TV ratings. Viewing schedule is full anyway.
  3. 3.
    Tuesdays off
    Nobody likes the Tuesday off rule. But we're all gonna be hungover, so who cares. Still need that extra day pad in case of a rain out.
  4. 4.
    Rotate the very first game
    Major reversal on my Let Cincinnati Open Every Season Rule. Rotate the very first game. First pitch at high noon... This screws west coast teams, sorry.
  5. 5.
    All teams play
    30 teams, 15 games. Stagger them out. 12 Eastern to 7 Pacific, coast to coast. Televise them all.
  6. 6.
    All away teams on Opening Day play home on Friday
    Since they didn't get to start at home, they get the whole next weekend to kick off the season & close out Opening Week.
  7. 7.
    President throws the first pitch
    It's a national holiday, so that's the rule. Vice President throws out the first pitch at some other game that day too.