Things our dog Max barks at...

  1. This is Max. He's a good boy. He stakes out a spot in our front window all day where he monitors the passing world. If you come close to our house, he's gonna let you know. He'll let us know. It's a real shitshow if anybody actually comes TO the house.
  2. Squirrels
    Damn squirrels!
  3. Cats
    Damn cats!!
  4. Dogs
    Damn dogs!!!
  5. Mail lady
    I mean it's every day with this lady!
  6. Lawn care guy
    Calm down! He's making your yard nicer!
  7. Birds
    This is fine, they were stealing grass seed. Get off my lawn!
  8. Garbage guys
    Hey, that's our garbage!
  9. Recycling guys
    Hey, that's our cardboard!
  10. The Ladies
    If he's not outside, he'll bark to alert us, so he can go get his belly rub. He loves his belly rubs from the ladies that work in the office down the street.
  11. UPS guy
    Who is coming up on OUR steps?
  12. FedEx guy
    ...and who is THIS GUY coming up on our steps.
  13. Random people
    Who are these people walking down the street?
  14. Helicopters
    He'll bark at them too if he hears them flying overhead to the hospital nearby.
  15. The wind
    Who keeps messing with our door?!?!
  16. The neighbors
    Technically, the neighbors were there first. He's so territorial.
  17. Police cars, fire trucks, ambulances
    He can see them but they're always a block away, so they only register a muffled grumble.
  18. Cars that slow down
    Why you creepin'?
  19. Cars that turn around in the driveway
    GOD FORBID