At a Loss

My husband and I had a huge fight. I need male and female perspective please.
  1. Last year I bought my one year old son a play vacuum.
    I did this because he liked to play with my big one, and he still loves it. Every time I vacuum so does he.
  2. At Christmas I bought him a play kitchen.
    This was because when we go play at the library it's all he plays with. He wound up not caring for the one I got.
  3. The vacuum caused a lot of strife in my house.
    Hubby thought he was playing with a girl toy and I was trying to girl him up.
  4. Note that I also bought a ton of "boy" toys as well.
    I pick things he would like, I am not concerned with the boy/girl thing.
  5. So a few times over the last year we've argued about the damned vacuum.
    Exhausting.
  6. Today, I come home from my internship.
    I'm in a Master's of Counseling program. I have learned quite a bit about children and gender. I also have raised 4 other kids with this man.
  7. He tells me that when his douchey, trouble stirring cousin came over yesterday he said stuff that made him think.
    This guy asked my two year old if he was a girl because he played with a vacuum. What kind of antiquated thinking is this?
  8. My son said yes when asked if he was a girl.
    He would likely say yes if I asked him if he was a butterfly too, he is TWO!
  9. So then we get into a huge tiff about what the big damn deal is.
    My husband says I am gender confusing him and society will think this and that.
  10. I said FUCK society, who cares.
    The only person who is making him feel he is doing something wrong is my husband in my opinion.
  11. I would also like to state the kitchen is gone.
    Because he didn't play with it, not because it's "girly"
  12. His favorite toys are his Batman and his giraffe that says a prayer.
    Not his fucking vacuum.
  13. Even if that vacuum was who gives a shit?
    Next year he will like something else. He is two so who cares.
  14. We are not speaking. He called me Hillary and said he can see that I am all "I am woman, hear me roar".
    I wonder if that shot was necessary.
  15. I said he was being a sexist ass.
    Just my opinion because otherwise why would we be arguing?
  16. Research has shown that it is no big deal for kids to play with a mix of toy types.
    Of course he thinks I know nothing, degree be damned!
  17. Anyhow, am I totally off base here?
    I don't think I am, but maybe I need perspective.
  18. Thanks