THINGS I'VE DONE AT LAX WHILE WAITING FOR A RED EYE FLIGHT
(keep in mind I have a fever and I'm wearing no makeup and it's almost midnight and I already have a deep hatred for airports)
- •I violently sneezed on an infantI got some dirty looks from the parents
- •I got hit on by a guy asking if I dropped something and him pulling out a condomat first I thought it was a packet of herbal tea. that's how out of it I am.
- •had to repack my luggage in front of a long line of annoyed people because my bag was too heavyone of the more stressful situations in my life
- •mistaken a guy in a red tracksuit for Gordon Ramsayprobably hallucinating now.
- •imagined various scenarios in which I am crushed by the wheels of a taxiing airplanebecause I'm pretty sure hell is just one never ending airport terminal