Benefits of Having a Beard

  1. Acts as a secondary storage.
    Tangle cookies, nuggets, fries in them, for use later.
  2. Natural air filter
  3. Useful when you go camping.
    Entangles insects and mosquitoes.
  4. Stroke/twirl/play with it, when phone battery dies out.
  5. You can turn to your beard for some 'deep' conversations.
  6. Awesome heater and cooler.
    In summers, drench/wet your beard, and it will keep your face cool. In winters your beard protects you from the chilly winds.
  7. Impress your boss with fancy excuses.
    Instead of the lame 'stuck in traffic', you can try 'washing/combing my beard took longer than i thought' or was saving the life of the poor insect that got entangled.