MY COLLECTION OF DAD JOKES FROM TINDER, RANKED

For some reason when I first made my Tinder profile, I added the line, "100% judging you based on the quality of dad jokes you have" and boy am I impressed. These are real things people have messaged me.
  1. Burglers are getting clever these days. Just last night my wife woke me up and said, "Honey! I think there's someone downstairs!". I crept down the stairs and made it all the way to the kitchen before I realized I didn't have a wife. When I got back upstairs my TV and computer were gone.
    Elaborate and great
  2. RIP boiling water. You shall be mist.
    Really love this one, but I feel like the boiling water DEFINITELY needed more of a build up
  3. I've got your nose. Followed up by a message 3 days later "I thought that was a funny dad joke hahaha"
    It wasn't, hence no response
  4. I wish I was sepia-toned and then I would be as cool as you
    A. Not a dad joke B. Sepia tones are warm
  5. What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no eye deer
    Not too original, but it is for sure a classic
  6. Okay this is sorta a dad joke? Dad story I guess but my dad's name is joel too and he always used to get Christmas stuff that said Noel and cross out the n and put a j smh
    Cool
  7. What do you call a homeless horse? Unstable
    A+ for you, Matt. I'm sorry I never answered you. Maybe you'll see this and we'll fall in love for real.
  8. If I had a nickel for everytime I've had a dream about you, i wouldn't have any nickels because we just got matched on tinder but I'm sure when I wake up I'll have a nickel.
    I don't know what this is but I'm into it, Adam
  9. Did you hear about the kidnapping today? He woke up
    This must be the first thing that comes up when you google "dad jokes" because I've heard it at least 10 times
  10. Two goldfish are in a tank, one turns to other, "ill man the gun, you steer."
    Finally someone understands a what a dad joke is!
  11. And then there's this...
  12. And it's still going...
  13. Best dad jokes..? How about another type of joke instead lol 🃏
    When you're really stumped for dad jokes, this approach always works