Every Roommate I've Had So Far

Inspired by @sarahtrue
  1. The novice
    Freshman first semester. Never really clicked. So naive that I convinced him the caffeine in Irish coffee counteracted the alcohol (Spoiler: it doesn't by a long shot). Tended to write angry stalkerish letters to the pretty girls on the floor.
  2. The superior
    In his mind, anyway. Insufferable. Witness to me losing my virginity in that he was in the room at the time.
  3. Best friend
    from high school. One of the only bright spots in a house of five.
  4. The fiancée
    The other bright spot - until she tried to murder me.
  5. The blackout lay
    Same house as the others. I don't remember the sex, but I wish I did.
  6. The free loader
    The final one in the house. Best thing about her is that she invited me to an orgy.
  7. Best friend, part deux
    The next year it was just us two. We stopped being friends after I had sex with his girlfriend in a threesome.
  8. At that point I realized I don't get along well with roommates.