Inspired by @krmckinstry
  1. Actually, the name is fine.
    It's just very common.
  2. I was born in St. Louis, Missouri in 1971
    Yeah. I'm old enough to be your dad.
  3. According to my mother,
    I was the only Matthew at the hospital that day.
  4. Fast forward to June 1990, Minneapolis:
    I graduated high school with 12 other Matthews or Matts.