WHAT I THINK LOTR IS ABOUT

Yeah, so.. I'm a Harry Potter fan and I'm sorry for what's about to happen.
  1. So this Gollum homie who looks kind of like a house elf whose been hanging out with Voldemort's friends for too long emerges from his cavernous dwelling pissed because he lost a ring and when he whispers "my precious" it almost could sound like drunk parseltongue
  2. I think the premise is that this one ring does essentially what all three pieces of the Deathly Hallows do together, so that's one thing Tolkien might've done better than Rowling.. 1>3. Power is more easily attained.
  3. There's a volcano or something they want to destroy the ring in.... Fuck yeah, fire.
  4. And then Dumbledore shows up because he's literally obsessed with destroying all neat things. Whatever Gandalf/Dumbledore. Just die already.
  5. Uhm, and the little hobbit people are basically the size of Professor Flitwick, right? ........ Can anyone tell me why Tolkien made them and Tyrien (@GoT fans, spelling?) inextricably connected?
  6. So they embark on a journey which may or may not be similar to the Canterbury Tales--because let's be honest, does anyone actually understand Middle English?? stop lying to us--and they want to destroy the ring or something but another old guy and some faeries get in the way.....and Orlando Bloom is there and yeah
  7. Honestly I have no idea how any of the movies end.
  8. I fall asleep watching them every time.
  9. #TeamGryffindor