The five things I said I would do today, that won't get done

  1. 1.
    Mow the lawn
    My neighbour's lawn is much longer, makes mine look OK.
  2. 2.
    Shorten the sleeves of my jacket
    If I use Wunderweb, it will look naff. And I haven't got a matching thread (sunshine yellow required)
  3. 3.
    Learn the art of selfie-taking